Week 5/6 T4 writing

Day 1: The Deep Something was lurking beneath him.

I was swimming in the Pacific Ocean when I heard a big splash behind me. I said to myself, hopefully, that is just a little fish. But when I was suddenly was about to swim back to shore, an enormous whale started to open his mouth with the noise of happiness, for he was sure in for a treat. And to make things even scarier something was lurking beneath me.  I was gonna be crushed like a lemon been made into lemonade.  Water rushes past me, pushing me back. The whale grabbed my head and before I could yell for help I was in his belly. He smelled like rotten fish soup. I found bones and much more floating around me. I was pushing at his gums to get out and before I knew it I got vomited up into the air.

Day 2: The Time Traveller The clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.

I opened my eyes and I was on a sidewalk. Something was next to me in the gutter. It was a mysterious clock with a key sticking out of it. Maybe this clock has something to do with time and space travel. I looked up I saw a stranger leaning over me. His emerald green eyes were beaming at the clock. The clock was ticking faster than his heartbeat. He was in shock. He knew that the clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.  The stranger was shaking and thinking about how to get the key to fit into the clock.  He kept on missing the key with his shaking hands and getting frustrated. The key eventually turned and he yelled HOORAY! But then out of nowhere everything went pitch black.…….

Name:  Motivation:	Paragraph:	Teacher/ Peer Feedback
Day 1: The Deep Something was lurking beneath him.	I was swimming in the Pacific Ocean when I heard a big splash behind me. I said to myself, hopefully, that is just a little fish. But when I was suddenly was about to swim back to shore, an enormous whale started to open his mouth with the noise of happiness, for he was sure in for a treat. And to make things even scarier something was lurking beneath me.  I was gonna be crushed like a lemon been made into lemonade.  Water rushes past me, pushing me back. The whale grabbed my head and before I could yell for help I was in his belly. He smelled like rotten fish soup. I found bones and much more floating around me. I was pushing at his gums to get out and before I knew it I got vomited up into the air.	We worked on checking for correct full stops and commas. Together we put in more paragraphs.
Day 2: The Time Traveller The clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.	I opened my eyes and I was on a sidewalk. Something was next to me in the gutter. It was a mysterious clock with a key sticking out of it. Maybe this clock has something to do with time and space travel. I looked up I saw a stranger leaning over me. His emerald green eyes were beaming at the clock. The clock was ticking faster than his heartbeat. He was in shock. He knew that the clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.  The stranger was shaking and thinking about how to get the key to fit into the clock.  He kept on missing the key with his shaking hands and getting frustrated. The key eventually turned and he yelled HOORAY! But then out of nowhere everything went pitch black.…….
Day 3: The start of a new journey Its epic journey was only the beginning.	I was laying in a pile of sand when I noticed. a huge egg right beside me.  I was curious. What was in the white mystery egg? I stood back with one of the biggest steps that I have ever taken. My hands started to shake from the strain of my day. The egg started to hatch before I could even touch it, s different key to the clock fell out.   Maybe this is what I need, but before I could even touch the key a vicious turtle, grabbed my hand and started to attack me. I suddenly had to get away from the turtle and I grabbed the key and took off to grab the clock. The clock was sitting on the sand like a bunch of lazy kids waiting for icecream. I grabbed it with all my anger and turned the key. My epic journey so far was only the beginning.

Name:  Motivation:	Paragraph:	Teacher/ Peer Feedback
Day 1: The Deep Something was lurking beneath him.	I was swimming in the Pacific Ocean when I heard a big splash behind me. I said to myself, hopefully, that is just a little fish. But when I was suddenly was about to swim back to shore, an enormous whale started to open his mouth with the noise of happiness, for he was sure in for a treat. And to make things even scarier something was lurking beneath me.  I was gonna be crushed like a lemon been made into lemonade.  Water rushes past me, pushing me back. The whale grabbed my head and before I could yell for help I was in his belly. He smelled like rotten fish soup. I found bones and much more floating around me. I was pushing at his gums to get out and before I knew it I got vomited up into the air.	We worked on checking for correct full stops and commas. Together we put in more paragraphs.
Day 2: The Time Traveller The clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.	I opened my eyes and I was on a sidewalk. Something was next to me in the gutter. It was a mysterious clock with a key sticking out of it. Maybe this clock has something to do with time and space travel. I looked up I saw a stranger leaning over me. His emerald green eyes were beaming at the clock. The clock was ticking faster than his heartbeat. He was in shock. He knew that the clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.  The stranger was shaking and thinking about how to get the key to fit into the clock.  He kept on missing the key with his shaking hands and getting frustrated. The key eventually turned and he yelled HOORAY! But then out of nowhere everything went pitch black.…….
Day 3: The start of a new journey Its epic journey was only the beginning.	I was laying in a pile of sand when I noticed. a huge egg right beside me.  I was curious. What was in the white mystery egg? I stood back with one of the biggest steps that I have ever taken. My hands started to shake from the strain of my day. The egg started to hatch before I could even touch it, s different key to the clock fell out.   Maybe this is what I need, but before I could even touch the key a vicious turtle, grabbed my hand and started to attack me. I suddenly had to get away from the turtle and I grabbed the key and took off to grab the clock. The clock was sitting on the sand like a bunch of lazy kids waiting for icecream. I grabbed it with all my anger and turned the key. My epic journey so far was only the beginning.

Name:  Motivation:	Paragraph:	Teacher/ Peer Feedback
Day 1: The Deep Something was lurking beneath him.	I was swimming in the Pacific Ocean when I heard a big splash behind me. I said to myself, hopefully, that is just a little fish. But when I was suddenly was about to swim back to shore, an enormous whale started to open his mouth with the noise of happiness, for he was sure in for a treat. And to make things even scarier something was lurking beneath me.  I was gonna be crushed like a lemon been made into lemonade.  Water rushes past me, pushing me back. The whale grabbed my head and before I could yell for help I was in his belly. He smelled like rotten fish soup. I found bones and much more floating around me. I was pushing at his gums to get out and before I knew it I got vomited up into the air.	We worked on checking for correct full stops and commas. Together we put in more paragraphs.
Day 2: The Time Traveller The clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.	I opened my eyes and I was on a sidewalk. Something was next to me in the gutter. It was a mysterious clock with a key sticking out of it. Maybe this clock has something to do with time and space travel. I looked up I saw a stranger leaning over me. His emerald green eyes were beaming at the clock. The clock was ticking faster than his heartbeat. He was in shock. He knew that the clock was the key to everything; the key to moving through time and space.  The stranger was shaking and thinking about how to get the key to fit into the clock.  He kept on missing the key with his shaking hands and getting frustrated. The key eventually turned and he yelled HOORAY! But then out of nowhere everything went pitch black.…….
Day 3: The start of a new journey Its epic journey was only the beginning.	I was laying in a pile of sand when I noticed. a huge egg right beside me.  I was curious. What was in the white mystery egg? I stood back with one of the biggest steps that I have ever taken. My hands started to shake from the strain of my day. The egg started to hatch before I could even touch it, s different key to the clock fell out.   Maybe this is what I need, but before I could even touch the key a vicious turtle, grabbed my hand and started to attack me. I suddenly had to get away from the turtle and I grabbed the key and took off to grab the clock. The clock was sitting on the sand like a bunch of lazy kids waiting for icecream. I grabbed it with all my anger and turned the key. My epic journey so far was only the beginning.